Have you ever started a project, business, or any undertaking and then caved to the criticism from others? Did you ever wonder why you caved instead of living your life the way you wanted? Who we associate with and who we let influence us matters.

We are all raised by parents, who instill their values and protect us. They keep us healthy and safe as children. These parenting skills are passed along to their children and their children and so on. It what has kept the human species on this planet for thousands of years so far. Our parents influenced us, for better or for worse.

Then we get into the work world. There is the traditional route. Either by force, conformity or not knowing that there are other choices, we have teachers who teach us, other employees who train us, supervisors who supervise us and bosses who…do what they do. Sometimes this route builds great relationships that last for years, and we build great careers working for other people and other companies.

I wouldn’t know about that.

There is the non-traditional route. The non-traditional route is the route that some people (like me) take. We learn a skill, build a business, and then launch our business. Some businesses make it. Some do not. Whether we succeed or do not succeed, we improve as business people. Most of us are so stubborn that we will not quit until we win.

If we went the non-traditional route of work, we find that our friends, families, and countrymen can be the biggest obstacles to building the life we want instead of a life we merely tolerate. We all have had teachers who drove us into the secondary educational machine called college, which is designed to create willing subordinates. Then the economy shifts and the jobs that we trained for, simply no longer exist. For example, my educational background is in nuclear power, and no nuclear power plants have been constructed in the United States for many years now. That was the end of my nuclear power career.

It becomes time to shift gears.

We decide that we can become consultants, start our companies, and change our lives, with the intentions of improving our lives. Then our friends and families step in to “help” us. People who have never done what we are doing bombard us with advice and criticism. These well-meaning souls quote studies, list reasons, and recollect examples of why what we are working on will not work. These same people cannot understand why in the world you still the same place that you have been. Some of them secretly congratulate themselves for being correct in foretelling that your business would not work.

The people you associate with matters. It matters more than you may know. The chatter you hear from your co-workers, friends, family and the media channels we allow into our lives affects us. Everything we pay attention to matters in our results.

We must keep asking questions if we want to succeed. Am I living the life I want? Do I have the people in my life I want in my life? Are the people who I give my attention to helping me get where I want to be? Whose life am I living anyway?

Whatever you do in life, make sure it is the life you choose and desire.