Michael Neely's Blog

Entrepreneurship • Freedom • Success

Success

Whose Voices are Inside Your Head?

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What’s the Chatter in Your Head?

If you were raised like I was, you have heard before that only crazy people have voices in their heads. You’ve seen the “psycho-killer” movie where he (or she) seeks revenge until it becomes an all-consuming obsession. They hear voices in their heads that make them do the things that they are not responsible for. As most TV shows illustrate, only crazy people hear voices.

This couldn’t be further from the truth.

We all have voices in our heads telling us what to do based on our conditioning. Our parents may have taught us how to avoid risk. “Don’t touch that.” “Play it safe.” They were just making sure that we didn’t hurt ourselves as we were growing up. At some point in our lives, we have to begin deciding what is better for us. Sadly, most  people go to their graves still listening to their parents’ warnings.

Are They Helping You or Hurting You?

I can’t count the times that I have had a thought run through my head that I have had to stop and question where it came from. These thoughts usually begin with “I can’t.” Many times these thoughts get in my head from past experiences or people in my past. Sometimes those people aren’t even alive anymore. An old drinking buddy tells me that we have to drink every day because we were waiters and need to be “products of the product” we sell. He’s dead from alcohol and drug abuse and I’m not a waiter anymore.

The people you are around the most are the ones who influence you the most. Jim Rohn said that you are the sum of your five closest friends. Your income will be about what their income is. If they go to more ball games than concerts, you will most likely go to more ball games than concerts. Whatever you and your closest friends believe, you will also believe. This can work to your advantage or to your detriment.

Basically speaking, your closest friends and associates have a huge influence on how your life turns out. That can be either inspiring or depressing and it’s something you have control over.

Your Self-Talk Decides How Your Life Turns Out

If you believe that you are a failure, you’re right. If you believe that you are an outstanding success, you are also right. Whatever you tell yourself over and over, becomes your reality. This is no longer something that some self-help guy said decades ago, it is a psychological fact.

Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become reality. -Earl Nightingale

Here is the ugly truth. Assuming you don’t have a disease that robs you of your physical and mental resources, you are responsible for how your life turns out. What you hear consistently is responsible for that. In sports, it’s called mental conditioning and it can decide the outcome of a sports event, a business deal, or your life.

Choose What You Hear, Choose Your Life

Occasionally, the TV cameras following a big sports event will catch the players coming off the plane or walking from the bus to the locker room. Almost all of them have headphones on. They also have an almost laser-like focus on anything but the media and the attention they are getting. What are they listening to? They could be listening to a special recording their coach has made for them. They could be listening to inspirational music. They are staying focused on one thing- winning the game or match. In life, just as in sports, if you aren’t focused on winning, you’re losing.

I listen to Grant Cardone for my inspiration. He faced financial disaster in the financial meltdown of 2008 and has rebounded to real estate holdings of $800M in AUM (accounts under management) according to his Twitter account in September 2018. He is a winner in the business world and I want winners in my corner telling me what move to make next.

If you are serious about changing your life, I would highly recommend listening to Grant Cardone’s Core MP3 Package. You can download and start listening today. I have a personal testimonial that listening to these four audios were key to my earning the largest commission check of my life at over $41,000. I invested $179 for these MP3’s in 2014. Would you invest as little as $100 to develop the skills and mindset to earn $41,000? I thought so. Order them today.

Redefining Success: Building My Best Year Ever

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How I Learned from Becoming My Biggest Setback

It’s 2018. The past couple of years have been tough, but negotiable. Fortunately, I am still breathing to write more about this bizarre journey for personal success. I have earned a lot of money and lost a lot of money. I have done everything I can to gain the respect of people who do not matter, usually at the expense of my self-respect. I have battled to regain my self-respect and start putting together something that looks like victory. When it all comes down to it, there has only been one struggle I have had to deal with. That obstacle is me. [Read more…] about Redefining Success: Building My Best Year Ever

Four Tips To Brainwash Yourself for Success

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Let’s Face it, it is Easy to Wander Off on Your Journey for Success

You finally start that business that will get you out of the proverbial “rat race” and take control of your life. Then your progress stops. You realize that you’re not making the progress that you think you should be making. It is harder to keep the momentum going to move towards your goals.

Everyone makes it look so easy on social media. Why can’t I be successful like everyone else?

Success eluded me too. I’m still working on becoming more successful every day, just like you are.

[Read more…] about Four Tips To Brainwash Yourself for Success

Success Is Your Duty

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Success is not an option. It is an obligation.

Here it is. The message that drives me. I wear it on my wrist every minute of every day. By wearing this bracelet (and the other bracelets I wear), it keeps me focused and helps me keep my eye on the ball. Do better than I did the day before. If I have the opportunity to advance greatly, do it! Success isn’t an option. It is my duty, my obligation, and my responsibility. Success is everything. That is how I live today.

[Read more…] about Success Is Your Duty

I Can’t: Two Words Never to Say to Yourself

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Can or Can't
Your Choice: Can or Can’t

Why Never Say “I Can’t?” Because It Matters

If you are looking for a reason that you are not achieving the results you want, listen for how many times the words “I can’t” come out of your mouth. “I can’t” is one of the most powerful phrases in the English language for doing nothing productive. It is the most self-defeating phrase I know. People who say “I can’t” a lot, do nothing to create positive change, and thus, have nothing but the same thing they have always had.

Count How Many Times You Say Them

Count how many times you say the words “I can’t.” If you want to challenge yourself further, count how many times you think of doing something differently, and you think the words “I can’t.” Thinking and saying this counterproductive phrase makes you ineffective, if not paralyzed by your words. If you say it a lot, people will avoid you and know that they will not count on you because you can’t count on yourself. Saying “I can’t” repeatedly is debilitating at best.

What Are You Truly Saying?

When you automatically reply with this phrase, have you ever thought about what you are truly saying? You’re giving up before you weigh all your options about whether or not you can do a task or not. You’re in Auto-Surrender mode. You will never get anything accomplished of any new value because you give up too early.

Count How Many Times You Hear Them

Consider your environment. Your environment can propel you forward or hold you back. It can also serve as one of your biggest excuses. Listen carefully to other people and count how many times you hear your friends, your co-workers, and your family members say, “I can’t.” Whether you know it or not, these chance words that you hear throughout the day influence you. The more you hear people you respect say “I can’t,” the more you will emulate them and say it yourself. Maybe you associate with people who “can’t” and you become just like them. While changing other people is difficult at the least, you can become aware of how others are using this phrase. You can also limit the amount of time you are around these negative-minded people.

Substitute A Different Phrase

Instead of automatically surrendering anytime a challenge seems insurmountable, choose a different phrase such as “I can.” You will be surprised about how this simple adjustment will empower you to do new activities. If it is something you don’t want to do, say, “I’ll consider it.” The ball is then in your court as whether you want to do this instead of whether or not you can do the activity.

Ban “I Can’t” From Your Vocabulary

The next challenge is to ban these words from your vocabulary. The question then becomes, do you want to feel empowered or wallow in self-inflicted victimhood? The choice is yours. Your self-talk can help you succeed and live the life you want, or it can lead you to a life of victimhood and poverty. What you say to yourself repeatedly matters. It will decide how your life turns out. If you truly want to do something different with our life, never say these two words again and don’t tolerate others saying them in your presence.

 

Focus on Achieving Success

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focus

Focus On Positive Change

Success is the habit of creating positive change. To create positive change, you have to concentrate your attention on your desired result.To me, this is one of the most overlooked requirements of becoming successful. Google defines “focus” as the center of interest or activity. It is where you concentrate your attention and activity on what you want instead of what you don’t want. If you seek success, it is vital to stay focused on what you want. Not only because you get more work done, but because what you focus on expands. In other words, if you concentrate your attention on succeeding, you will succeed. If you concentrate on making excuses, you will find a multitude of excuses of why you can’t succeed instead of the success you desire.

Pursuing success means creating positive change. To create positive change, by definition, you have to end negative change by eliminating negative habits. When you end negative habits, you concentrate on positive habits. When you flood your mind with positive thoughts, you develop positive actions that take you in the direction you want for your life.

“What we focus on is where we go. Where focus goes, energy flows.” -Jordan Belfort

It works every time. If your attention is on injustice, you will get more injustice. If you focus on earning a new income level, you start finding new opportunities to earn the income you desire. What you concentrate on expands.

Change Creates Fear

Changing your life is scary stuff. Your comfort zone will fight back. You will start thinking that you aren’t good enough to achieve the success you want. You must focus on what you want in life, not that which you are afraid. If you focus on your fear, you will get more of what you fear. When I first got started in business, I had a track record of successes from earlier career successes in the military. I could not fail in my eyes. I failed anyway because I did not do my research on the company with whom I was working. I did everything they told me to do but did not get the desired results. I accept responsibility for this event, but the memory of this failure created a fear in my mind. I had to end this fear to move forward in business. I began focusing on what I wanted instead of what I didn’t want, and eventually got what I wanted.

Focus is What Gets You Results

In 1959, Earl Nightingale recorded “The Strangest Secret.” This recording was the predecessor to the Personal Development industry as we know it today. It was the first spoken record that sold to Gold Record status. The main message of The Strangest Secret is not a new message. Many authors, teachers, and magnates have said this throughout history in many forms.

“You become what you think about most of the time.” -Earl Nightingale

Ralph Waldo Emerson, James Allen, and long before them, Jesus of Nazareth have echoed similar thoughts. It is the secret of success that cannot be overturned or ignored. “The Strangest Secret” is not a secret at all.

Have Lots of Problems? Stop Looking For Them

If you consider the quote above if you think about your problems most of the time, they expand. Your problems get bigger than they were. What you focus on expands. If you concentrate on your problems all the time, they don’t get solved, they get bigger and bigger. The bigger your problems seem, the more insurmountable they become. Then, your problems convince you to take no activity and nothing changes. Stop dwelling on your problems. No one else wants to hear about them anyway.

Concentrate on What You Want

Since you become what you think about, think about what you want to become constantly. Stop thinking about who betrayed you in the past, and start thinking about how you will make your dreams come true. Fill your mind with your goals and how you can achieve them with integrity.

Desire Is Where Success Starts

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Desire is where success beginsDesire is where business success starts. Success will not come to you just because you are awesome. There are people who say they desire success, but they don’t want success badly enough to work hard towards their vision of success. They think that their friends will not approve, and these people are probably right. Their friends probably wouldn’t approve. They can say they want success all they want. The truth is that if you aren’t working towards your success every minute that you have available, you will never create the momentum necessary to break through the seemingly insurmountable resistance it takes to create the life you want.

“The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.” –Robert Kiyosaki

Your Vision Can Create Desire

Let’s say that I see a bright red beautiful sports car driving down the road one day. I decide that I want a sports car just like the one I saw. Wanting a new car isn’t being covetous of my “neighbor’s” sports car. I want the sense of accomplishment and pride in ownership of this beautiful car like the one I saw, but not that exact car. I cut out pictures of this sports car and place them all around my house and my office. I write out how I am going to buy this car, how I will earn the money and fulfill this desire. Maybe I see someone who has a lifestyle based on freedom. He works when he wants to, with whom he wants to work, makes more money than he can spend, and works from home. Maybe that is something I want to create in my life. I start finding pictures of things that remind me of this lifestyle, write out a plan and begin taking steps to fulfill this destiny. Your vision can create your desire to create positive change.

Immersion In the Outcome Increases Desire

When I was a little boy, I got into car design for a little while. My favorite car in the ninth grade was a 1969 Corvette convertible. I also liked looking at pictures of the flying cars that we would certainly have by the year 2000. I enjoyed designing cars based on what the future would resemble. I would lie in the floor and draw what cars would look like when I got older. This activity was a lot of fun for me. Fast forward 40 years. Now, I get excited when I think about my vision for my future. I develop goals as stepping-stones to my vision, and it creates desire. I see myself enjoying living on the 30th floor (or higher) in my condominium, enjoying my coffee before I get started with my business day, and I get excited. When I see myself driving down the road in my favorite car for that day, I get excited. You get the point. No one gets excited about goals because meeting goals is the work that fulfills the vision for your future. Your vision gets you excited, keeps you working late at night and getting up early, and working on creating your future. Your vision creates your desire to achieve what you want.

Desire and Vision Inspire Goals and Action

Desire by itself is not enough. If you desire to change your life, but don’t put action behind it, then you are fantasizing about the results you could have and settling for less that you can be. First, you must want something different or want something to change. Then you imagine the outcome of what you want and how it can benefit you and all others involved in the outcome. Then, you set the goals or the action steps to get from where you are now to the desired outcome. It all begins with a desire to improve one aspect of your life. Without a desire to change or improve, no one can help you.

There Is No “Life Participation” Trophy

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Trophy Nameplate
Trophy nameplate for showing up

But I got a trophy when I was younger…?

When I was a kid, one year I got a trophy for playing soccer. Our team sucked. We were last in our division, and I think we won maybe two games out of 10 or 12. At the end of the season, we all got a trophy. It was a surprise to me since we were horrible. It was the only time I ever got a trophy for doing poorly in my life. At best, we showed up. Every time I looked at that trophy, it paled in comparison to the trophies next to it on my bookshelf we earned after winning championships.

I persevered with my scholastic soccer career, and it culminated with being a starter on our high school soccer team. On that team, we dominated two divisions and finished the season 22-2. I also made the Alabama State Select Team and went to Southeast Regional camp. As my teammates and I were leaving, we saw a banner welcoming the kids for trying out for the US Olympic National Soccer Team that week. We were those kids. We won a couple of trophies for this performance, and it was a chain of events that I will always carry with me. It was the winning experience, and it kept me going through some incredibly dark days of my life. It also kept me focused that I am a winner and that, although things were temporarily tough, I knew that I would win again.

Congratulations! You showed up!

There is a Woody Allen quote I see or hear occasionally that I have always doubted. That quote is “80% of success is showing up.” What this means is that if you show up, your chances of success are greater than if you don’t show up. Some people have rationalized that, since 80% is a B in most school grading systems, if you just show up, you get a B. Somehow over the years, people have misconstrued this quote into “95% of success is just showing up.” This way you get an A for just showing up. Presto! Everyone gets a trophy!

No Trophy for Just Showing Up

There is a trend these days to boost the self-esteem of people who do not do well and whose results are lacking. This concept not only gives people a false sense of accomplishment, but it also robs the glory of victory from the victors. From little league baseball to the President telling successful entrepreneurs and business owners “You didn’t build that,” giving everyone a trophy belittles the accomplishments of others by making everyone the same. Unfortunately, when you get to the marketplace or reality, you don’t get a paycheck (trophy) just for showing up. Maybe you or someone you know receives royalties or deferred compensation. Someone had to do something to start the ball rolling to get that deferred compensation in the bank. What about those who inherit their wealth? Someone earned that money at some point and passed it along to their descendants. The point is that if you do nothing, you will get nothing.

The only way to get a trophy

I don’t know of every instance where someone does nothing and gets paid for it. However, it has been my experience that there is a certain level of competence that comes from getting a trophy, or a paycheck, and especially a commission check. If you don’t earn it, you don’t get the prize. If you have nothing, it’s because you did nothing, and therefore, you are earning nothing. You have to get off your couch and earn what you keep. No one owes you anything unless you earn it by proving your value in the marketplace. If you earn it and don’t get the trophy, then you might want to do what you do for someone else who will pay the price you ask.

Ambition vs Greed

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Ambition_vs_GreedIf there are two words that are often confused, they are ambition and greed. It is the perspective of the person using these words and sometimes their agendas that are the difference. Most people see ambition as a positive value to be cherished and greed as a negative attribute to avoid. Most people would say that the person who is striving to advance himself as ambitious. Most people see the executive who embezzles from the company for which he works as greedy.

However, most people have televisions. On most televisions have shows with people who have an agenda to mislead others. They cloud the difference between ambition and greed. What happens when the man who strives for the promotion at work becomes the executive who embezzles from the company for which he works? What about the hard working woman who builds a great company and then becomes wealthy? Some people label her as greedy simply because of her financial success. Behind the scenes, she may donate large sums of money to charitable causes, but people still label her as greedy. How is one quality different from the other?

In showing the difference between these two words, it’s important to remember that we consider the perspective of the observer (and sometimes, agenda of the critic). Let’s look at the definitions of both words and then we can decide where we draw the line between the two.

Definition of Ambition

Dictionary.com defines ambition as “an earnest desire for some type of achievement or distinction, as power, honor, fame, or wealth, and the willingness to strive for its attainment.” That sounds like a good quality to have, right? Who would read this and say that this is a bad idea? Maybe the person who got fired because of someone else’s ambition? Almost anyway you look at ambition it sounds like a quality that garners respect and admiration.

Definition of Greed

Dictionary.com defines greed as “excessive or rapacious desire, especially for wealth or possessions.” That sounds like a quality we avoid. The desire for wealth or possessions to the point of embezzling from a company could be considered excessive. Wealthy people have been called greedy by politicians asking them to “pay their ‘fair share'” (whatever that means). I always think it curious that people with little demanding other people’s money in the name of the wealthy being greedy. For whatever reason and whatever agenda, greed is something that causes abhorrence and consternation in others.

Enter Jim Rohn

One of my first personal development influences was Jim Rohn. I bought my mp3’s titled The Art of Exceptional Living in August 2008, and I still listen to them occasionally today. I never had the chance to meet him, but his legacy lives on today in his books and audio programs. Mr. Rohn looked at the difference between these two words and came to an interesting conclusion. Here is the best explanation for the differences between these two words that I know. According to Mr. Rohn, enlightened self-interest is the basis for both of these words. Enlightened self-interest is the basically desire for gain. The difference is that greed is gaining at the expense of others. Ambition is gaining in the service of others. I am not a religious man, but there is a lot of wisdom in ancient writings. For example, The Bible says that Jesus of Nazareth said that to become the greatest of them all is the person who serves the most people. Gaining a fortune by serving the most people I consider to be ambitious, but not greedy.

No matter your religious views, serving others is better than taking from others. Remember this whenever you hear of someone accused of being greedy. Is that person serving others, or are they taking from others while giving nothing in return? Should the day come that someone calls you greedy, make sure that you are gaining from serving others instead of taking from others.

How Important is Success to You?

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Money and Success

What is this elusive thing called success? To some, success means nice cars, nice houses, vacations, and lots of leisure time. To others, it means merely getting the bills paid and making ends meet. To other people, it means making sure they get their government check every month. To most people, success means doing better than they did. It means that their quality of life is improving, and financial success is a part of that success. This post is for those that work for business success daily. These are the business owners, the entrepreneurs, and solopreneurs who work to make their dreams come true in the business world.

I always knew that I wanted success in my life. Early in my career, I allowed the people with whom I used to associate influence me negatively. Success to them meant drinking and smoking in their favorite bar every day after a long (or not so long) day at work. This picture was my vision of success, and it was the vision that I pursued for many years. This path led to some of the darkest days of my life. After I crashed my business and my life in 2001, my friends left me, and I was no longer welcome in the places that I used to go. I also crashed financially.

I moved to Florida to turn my life around in 2002. To make this part of the story short, I did not turn my life around. I continued to live by the habits of my former life, the drinking, the smoking, and the hanging out in bars. I struggled to get my life just a little bit together and moved to Atlanta. I returned to my source of income that was my old standby of waiting tables and slipped right back into my old habits. If you can do these things and still meet your goals, then that’s great. But, for me, after the age of 40, the time came for me to wake up and change.

I started listening to different information from different people. My mentor at the time said that I needed to throw myself into something called personal development. I heard about a man named Jim Rohn. I bought some audios and listened to them. I wrote down some ideas and applied them to my life, and I changed my life a little. I bought a couple of books and some more audios from people like Earl Nightingale, Brian Tracy, Denis Waitley, and Zig Ziglar. I listened to their audios, read their books, and I changed my life a little more.

Then I stopped for a little while. I got tied up in a job, made some more money, and changed my environment. I experienced some success.Why did I achieve a little success? I was listening to some new ideas. I applied some new, successful ideas, and I got different results. What was the secret? I found some new ideas and applied those ideas to my life. I changed the people with whom I was associating. I started working on myself. And I got results.

About a year later, I got restless again. I plateaued at what I was doing, and it was time to find some more answers. I started selling my services as a freelance marketing consultant with very little success. I discovered Grant Cardone in 2010 on Twitter, but I had no idea who he was. Two years after I first heard of him, a Twitter conversation led me to his website. I discovered that he was a sales trainer, and what I needed was sales training. I bought his book The Closer’s Survival Guide. I got much more than sales training. I got a bunch of attitude from someone who had been where I had been before. That was something I desperately needed in my life. The answers did not come to me by magic, or by some other mystical forces. They came to me because I searched for the answers that could change my life.

The success you seek does not come to you by luck or magic. You have to start looking for the success that you seek. I have made a lot of progress since I started this blog in 2011. I am always looking for new information and associating with new people who can help me get where I want to go. Applying new ideas to your life can help you become more successful than you were. How hard you look for those ideas reflects how important success is to you.  The harder you work towards success, the sooner you will find what you seek. I am constantly seeking greater successes.